Everyone loses weight when they go to a developing country for an extended period of time. Except me. Yup, despite being in the company of malnourished children most of the time, my double chin has grown larger and my stomach has expanded. Normally I wouldn't care about this sortof thing, as no one would really bring this to my attention back home (at least to the extent that I've atually gained weight), but here, it's different. One of my punk students that always cuts my low level English class walked behind me and grabbed my love handles during lunch the other day and made the comment, "aaaw, yaaiii!" (wow, big!). I didn't take it too personally because this is the same kid that gave himself his own tatoo, then a week later, decided he didn't want it anymore and then ended up having to go ot the hospital for a self inflicted third degree burn. The tatoo's still there, in case you were wondering.

Then yesterday some government officials came to visit our site to discuss some "serious issues" and we were all sitting at a conference table. I was slouched over, I suppose and my rolls were particularly noticable, evidently because the woman sitting across from me interrupted the discussion and made the comment, "Pi Jamie! You look like you have a baby!" And motioned her hands across her own stomach to demonstrate my apparant metamorphosis from the last three months. I smiled not caring too much, feeling like it was probably a bigger deal that she interrupted the meeting than my having gained weight. Then I looked up and saw one of the members of the directing team chuckling and nodding her head, coz apparantly, yup! It's loud and clear. I've gotten noticably fatter in the last couple of months.

Other volunteers have called this culture shock and maybe that's the case. Nonetheless, I've always had a really high metabolism and there's been absolutely no alcohol or marijuana in my life to explain this recent phenomenon. I've been pretty busy and I've rewarded myself with food and iced coffee (2% coffee, 98% sugar and cream around these parts) with most of the free time I've had. I also never walk anymore because I have this motorbike that I take everywhere. I went to the gym after that meeting and ran 2 kilometers and then I felt like I wanted to die. I suppose I'm out of practice but it's also starting to get really hot around here. And no, there's no airconditioning in the gym.



The Teseban Test
Unfortunately, of my two students that took the scholarship test, neither of them passed. Not just the English section though. The Thai, Science and Math sections too; all of them. The students from Doi Luang failed as well. They seemed ok about it. They said that they're happy to continue studying here at their regular school and with me from 7-8:30. The directing team is working on getting me a copy of this year's test to see what we could have done more to improve their performance. I'd say I feel completely responsible....but really, I'm not sure how much language development is even possible in three weeks, no matter what kindof vigorous teaching is done. I'm just happy they don't feel so discouraged as to drop studying the language all together. I wish things could have worked out better for them, but that's how it goes, I guess.

By the way, for those of you who have been reading and commenting about wanting to help or contribute to this organization: They are always looking for help here. Volunteers and monatary donations, these are all really important and a little bit of cash in the states goes a long way here. If you want to know more, email me jameswood924@yahoo.com and I'll gladly tell you the name of the organization and ways you can help.

Graduation ceremony.
This is a photograph of a ritual performed during a graduation ceremony. There are these pieces of thread that elders and teachers wrap around the wrists of the graduates. I think they represent the diploma and the process of tying the string around their wrists is supposed to be the rite of passage into adulthood.



Sadly, a good chunck of my students have "graduated" from the organization's program and have left in the last few days, or will leave in the next couple of weeks. This wasn't a conventional graduation for a few reasons. I had flashbacks of my own highschool graduation before coming to this one. Mine was pretty chipper as far as occasions go. I got to hear my own dad speak about happy things like icecream and having fun and most everyone was smiling and having a good time. Graduation here in Thailand on this site was way different. The speaker was a director of the program and instead of a sortof, "Oh, the Places You'll Go" speech, she gave a "Life stops being fun NOW," kind of speech. I could see fear building up in the eyes of these kids, 15, 16, to 19 years old. To be fair, this entire speech was done in Thai, and if there were words of encouragment, I missed them entirely. The point is, the atmosphere definitely wasn't light like a graduation in the States would be.

As all of these kids from this class have finished, they've all gone to their respective homes for an abbreviated period of time before embarking upon the next project: vocational school, continued studies, work, whatever it might be. I saw girl last night still walking around campus and I asked her, "Are you going home?" And she smiled and said, "I don't have a home. This is my home!" She explained to me that both of her parents had died and she didn't have anywhere to go. She seemed fine explaining this to me last night, but this morning she came to my office saying she wanted to study English with me later on (She was one of the kids from that crash course that didn't end up taking the test). Then she paused and said to me, "I miss my friends." and she started to cry. What a life. You'd never know she'd come from a broken home by how much she laughs and smiles with her friends. Her friends became her sense of security; the only kindof family she'd have left. Now that was taken away from her too as far as she was concerned. I didn't really know what to do and I asked her if she had any pictures of her friends to remember them by when she missed them. On the office screensaver, there was a picture of her with her friends and she asked me to print it out. Once it was printed, she took it in her hands and walked away just staring onto the piece of paper as if she couldn't remove her eyes from it.

It's strange that at age 16 she's supposed to have figured out what she's supposed to do with her life when I haven't figured out my life yet at 22. It's also strange how for some people, an hour long bus ride away might as well be the other side of the planet... whereas for me, thanks to the internet and cell phone's, the other side of the world feels like next door...so, so, so lucky.