Radio

On Wednesday morning, Cindy and I DJ and speak on the English radio show from 8am-9am. The great thing about English radio in Mae Sai is you can talk about pretty much anything you want because few people are listening…and if they are, they probably don’t understand a lot of English. Sometimes I come in with a clip from a Newspaper or the book I’m reading and Cindy and I have an exchange of meaningless banter occasionally interrupted by a song or two. Sometimes, we’ll get a phone call from a Thai person, requesting the song “Zombie” by the Cranberries. Thais LOOOOOVE Zombie by the Cranberries and I think this is weird because that song came out when I was in the 6th grade.

This last Wednesday, having stayed up late the night before grading a test, I came into the radio show without any books or articles to discuss. Even worse was that by 7:58, Cindy hadn’t shown up yet.

Another thing: At 8 AM, every radio station and every television station in Thailand is supposed to interrupt whatever programming they have to play the Thai National Anthem. It’s a very big deal around here. It’s even broadcasted onto the streets and traffic comes to a complete stand still while the anthem is playing.

So of course, despite the fact that Cindy’s gone, I know I’m supposed to broadcast the Anthem and so I start looking for it on the computer….and I can’t find it. I successfully pulled this MP3 up on the computer last week, but today there were no searches coming in. I got really nervous and didn’t know what to do and so I just pulled a random song onto the playlist. I think it ended up being Elvis Presley’s “Love me Tender.” So Elvis was being broadcasted over the air when the National Anthem was supposed to be playing and I’m sitting there in the studio biting my nails, not knowing what to do. Then when 8:03 rolled by, the phone rang and I got even more nervous. I answered it in Thai and the man on the other end said something really fast that I didn’t understand, until the end, “ZOOOMMMMBIEE, ZOOOOMBBBIEE” “Zombie?! Ok, sure.” Thank god, just a song request and not someone yelling at me for neglecting to play the national anthem. So Elvis finished, I played Zombie again and by this time it was 8:07 and Cindy still hadn’t shown up. I had to start adlibbing over the air. Here’s what the show might have sounded like once I started speaking into the mic.

“ Good morning, you’re listening to Child Voice Radio…............... Sorry I didn’t play the National Anthem, I couldn’t find it….................Today’s weather is maybe 25 degrees Celsius with a little bit of overcast...................…and Cindy’s not here and so today’s show is going to be a complete monologue by myself…............what to talk about…hmmm, I guess I’ll tell you about the book I’m reading. I’m reading my second Dan Brown book, and I hate it. Here’s why…”

and then I kept going for 5 minutes and put on another song. I took off my headphones, turned off my mic and started breathing really heavily. Then Cindy finally came in. She found the Anthem over the computer; someone had changed the title into Thai letters. Totally not my fault, but it was too late. The rest of the show was smooth sailing as Cindy had brought in some materials for us to discuss, but I sooooo did not inherit any radio broadcasting persona from Dad.